Saturday, March 03, 2007

Middle of the night...

Tristian has always been pretty good at sleeping throughout the night, but then around 10 or 11 months or so (it's hard to remember exactly, but I think it's also the time he started really working on a lot of teeth too) he started waking up around 3 am for a bottle. Normally he'd sleep all night, get up at 7am or so for a bottle and then go back to bed until around 9-9:30.. but 3 am, ouch! But out of the blue a few nights ago he slept through the whole night and got up at 8:30am in the morning.. I was so confused in the morning, did I feed him and just not remember, or did he not get up.. I could not remember for the life of me!! But then me and my mom got to talking about his middle of the night feedings - I had been wondering if he really was hungry or if that was just a sort of soother for him to go back to sleep.. so my mom suggested trying something different if he woke up again. So I decided I wanted to break Tristian's habit of waking up at 3 am (which was also sometimes 1:30-2am!!).. That night when Tristian woke up at 6 am, I changed his diaper and got his sippy cup (with water) and tried to give him some and try to settle him down to sleep again.. well when I gave him that sippy cup he broke out into an all out tantrum, he lay on his stomach and screamed at me (he was MAD!!). I put his cup inside his crib and thought to myself, I am the mom, this is my decision and I want to stick to it (it's hard when you're tired and have to hear your child crying and screaming and you know what will sooth it in a second!!) So I sat outside his bedroom door and just waited, praying for patience and the will to know that I was doing the right thing.. after probably 10 minutes or so, he slowly stopped crying, then I heard him sit down and start drinking from his cup!!! After he was done he went back to sleep!!! WOW! what a feeling of success in winning a battle! The next night - he never woke up during the night! so lets see if this is a new trend :)

7 comments:

Andrea said...

Yay!! That's so good...I know that I feel like I need to do that with Tate sometimes especially when he wakes up multiple times at night...but I know that he's usually waking up because he has a sore tummy, so then I usually just hold him a bit and calm him down and maybe feed him...and then he'll go back to sleep...but yeah, I LOVE the nights when he sleeps real good! :)

Stacey said...

way to go! It can be hard to stick to it when you hear those cries. And really, they do get used to it awfully quick!

Susanna said...

I would love to hear more about how this worked for you! I have had the same problem with Addison (he wakes up at 5 EVERY morning and expects a bottle too) and I don't know how to break that habit. I would rather he just slept right through until morning, which is usually around 7:30 for him. Did you have to let Tristian cry any other times than that first night? I would love to know how things went and exactly what you did so I can try it with Addison as well.

Susanna said...

I would love to know how things turned out with Tristian waking up in the middle of the night. Addison has been doing the same thing, waking up at 5 every single morning and always expects a bottle as well. It would just be nice to break that and have him sleep straight through until it's time to get up, which is usually around 7:30. I just don't know how to break that habit because he's the same, demanding milk and gets very mad when all he gets is water! Let me know what you did and how it's going - I need some tips please!
Also, I just wanted to say congrats on the new little one-to-be! Your 12 week tummy is about the same size as my regular tummy....that's a little depressing for me!

Susanna said...

oops, I didn't think the first message went through, so wrote basically the same thing again - sorry for the repeat!

Ellen said...

Andrea - I know it's different when you know there is a problem, and sometimes (especially with teething) I have a hard time deciding if his gums really hurt or if he just has his hands in his mouth (which he does sometimes)-but the nights where he sleeps all night are so good..

Stacey - yes those little ones are way too smart for their own good, and moreso than we give them credit for too!! :)

Susanna - basically it's tough love (which is the hardest to do!!). I made sure that he was changed so I knew it wasn't that, and when I tried to give him the water and he screamed and had a tantrum I knew it was a battle of wills and not that he actually needed the milk. So I left the water bottle in the crib and sat outside his room (since the soothing I had tried went no where) and I waited.. after he went to sleep he slept only for another hour and then I did the same thing (I didn't change his diaper tho cuz it wasn't wet) I tried giving his water bottle back to him and of course he still got mad at me.. I didn't know what to do and was feeling sorry for myself I ended up sitting on the floor beside his crib and cried too (altho that has a lot to do with the preggo hormones and feeling sorry for myself) I just sat there, head on my knees and after a while he calmed himself down and went back to sleep until his normal wake up time. With watching some shows like Nanny 911 and such where they take a family with out of control kids and make their lives managable, I have tried to pick up a few tips, like with a crying child that doesn't want to go to sleep, to be firm, check and make sure they are alright and let them know you are there, but don't take them out of the crib, if anything lay them down again.. stay in the room if you like so they know you are there, but the biggest and most important is to not pick them up and coddle them - they have then won the battle. If you find it really hard take turns with your husband to be there.. I figure I'd rather deal with this now than with a 3,4,or 5 year old that has the words as well as a mind of their own, I have seen instances where the parents have to sit and listen to all 3 children cry in their rooms for 2 straight nights before they finally figured out that mom and dad were not going to cave in. That may sound harsh to you, but I feel discipline is a positive thing and kids pick things up way too fast, if they know you will do anything to stop them crying they will cry to get what they want! I'm sure you know what i'm talking about :) So after my LONG post about tough love - I just encourage you if it's a struggle for you, it is the hardest to be hard on your child especially thinking they are so young yet, but it is the most important to start young (being reasonable) as I've seen what happens when you give in all the time and it's harder to fix when their older.. not saying i'm perfect or that i've got things figured out at all since i'm just learning as a first time mom, but i hope things will work for you!! let me know how things go :)

Ellen said...

PS.. Tristian has now slept thro the night a total of 3 nights!! (and hopefully counting :)