Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Well Meaning Advice?

What do you do with well meaning advice? So innocently spoke, but like a knife to the heart? I got some a while ago, and it still bothers me. The lady who said it was well meaning and trying to be somewhat empathic I think; I know she would never say anything to intentionally hurt me. The thing is, we also don't know each other THAT well, so it's not like I could really go back and tell her how it made me feel. Plus she probably forgot she even said it to me. Situation: church was over and I had just picked up TJ from nursury and trying to coral him out to get his jacket on and go. He didn't want to listen to me that day and just wanted to run around, while I was carrying his sister, trying to convince him it was time to go. On the way through the hall, the lady mentioned pointedly, "Why doesn't your husband help you more?" Ouch!!

Hurt and anger and frustration all flew into my mind... I mumbled a yeah and continued on my quest to capture my son. Yes it would be wonderful if my husband could help me more, but the reality is that his job is demanding and when he works, he works, 24/7 (well not literally 24 hours a day, but long days for sure). Especially now, when things are slowing down in his industry, he needs to work whenever he is called!! How many times I have wished that we had a "normal" life like everyone else - mind you there are some perks that I would miss if he had a "normal" job. But you know what? Right now, this is what my husband does and I will support him in it!! It pays the bills that need to be paid, he enjoys it (except for the politics of it) and it's what he does... I have learned to deal with it, besides a pity party for myself every now and again, we do what needs to be done. So many women say, oh I don't know how you do it, it must be so difficult! In reality, you get used to it, just like going grocery shopping with two kids... you learn how to deal with the one that wants to eat the bulk candy off the floor while the other one is climbing out of the cart.. it's hard, frustrating at times, and someone could get hurt.. but in the end everything turns out just fine and we still have groceries for another week :)

Anyway, back to my original question... how do you deal with 'well meaning advice'? And what are some of the best/worst comments you've ever received :)

*sorry about the sideways picture, my computer was being stubborn, but I just had to show off my first attempt and pigtails on my daughter :)

Saturday, February 14, 2009

WW on Saturday & Some Love for Everyone!

Happy Valentines Day everyone!! One day of the year for a man to show his woman some romance and love.. one day among a few (birthday and anniversary) that most women expect SOMETHING, whether it be a small gesture or a grand one, it doesn't really matter, it's the thoughtfulness behind it - even though it is expected. How funny, we expect something and yet it has to be thoughtful, but is it thoughtful if it is expected? My husband figures Valentines day is "Just another day", which is true, and yes it is true that if he were to do something spontaneous like bring me flowers on any other day, it would probably mean more to me than flowers on Valentines day. The thing is, if your husband doesn't do ANYTHING on Valentines day, the day of LOVE, how much less the chances that he is actually going to do anything on any other given day?? lol, seriously boys, this day was given to you so you can redeem yourselves for all those times you've messed up in the love/romance department :) Let me clarify myself on one issue... time to listen boys.. doing something for your woman on this day to make her feel special isn't really that hard and doesn't need to cost anything, like: doing anything around the house without being asked (like dishes, laundry, taking out the garbage), playing with the kids so we can have a break, running us a hot bubble bath and then watching the kids so they don't bang on the door, making supper and cleaning it up (and if you don't cook, ordering supper is just as nice, altho it does tend to cost money), when you come home from work giving us a big hug and kiss and telling us to go sit down and relax and that you will take care of everything and then follow through with that!! All big brownie points here boys! The thing is, we all know that LOVE isn't just about getting, it's about giving, so after you have chosen one of the following, you may be pleasantly surprised with the love we will give you in return - it will all be worth it boys, I promise you!
Hope everyone has fun, and enjoy all the different kinds of love, love of kids, love of friends, love of partner, love of family! Happy Valentines Day!

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

25 Random Things about Me

I did the "25 Random things about me" thing on Facebook, and realized, for all the time it took, I might as well post it on my blog too :) So here are 25 Random Things About Me, and I tag anyone that reads this that hasn't already done it :) Enjoy!!

1. I am a born perfectionist, if things aren't perfect it stresses me out and along those lines, I like to have control of situations - needless to say, my kids and my husband are helping me to try and fix this, as they are all unpredictable and like to throw wrenches into my plans :)

2. I love my husband and two kids like crazy and wouldn't change it for the world, even though I am a young mom, I don't feel that MY life is over, just on hold a little, at least until the munchkins are all in school, I still have lots to do in life, I just want to share it all with my family!

3. Things I have considered doing when I grow up: graphic designer, biologist (not sure what kind, but I would love to learn a lot more about genetics and DNA, it intrigues me), teacher (maybe biology teacher?), doula/nurse, wedding planner, event planner, sales/marketing coordinator, commercial airline pilot, own a b&b internationally, and the list is endless...

4. I have always wanted to fly in a fighter jet - I think it would be incredible

5. I think I may be a slight adrenaline junky (see #4)

6. I LOVE the scary rides/rollercoasters at the midway (see #5)

7. I think my kids are also slight adrenaline junkies too, they seem to love a rush

8. I have a heavy foot, all the tickets I've received have been for speeding!

9. I LOVE food! I love trying new foods (at least once), I think it is a cultural experience! Part of the reason I enjoy travelling is trying new foods!

10. I have to laugh at the first time me and my husband got stopped by the cops (we were dating at the time) the cop pulled me out of the car and asked me if I was ok and there by my free will - because of our age difference! I appreciate that he did that, but chuckled and told him we were dating :)

11. I love the fact that my husband would always invite me to go out with him and the guys (I told him he didn't have to, I realize guys need a night out with the boys), we usually had lots of fun, me and him and the boys :)

12. I LOVE dancing!! It is my favorite thing to do - I may not be that great at it, but if a song with a beat comes on, I can't stop moving! I love dancing at home with my kids, those are the best evenings!

13. I am so much happier with my post-baby body after #2 than after #1 - I didn't do anything to deserve it though..

14. Since being pregnant with my daughter, I haven't cut out the sweets cravings.. I still need to have that cookie :)

15. While pregnant with my son my cravings included: sour green apple slushies, sunchips and a wonder bar, pineapple sundays, a big large coke from McDonalds (I don't drink coffee, so this was really my only caffiene intake, and I did try to keep it to a minimum), oh and of course fries and ketchup!

16. I have fed sharks

17. I love travelling, I want to do so much more of it yet! I would love to be able to take my kids too (when they are older of course) and explore this world!

18. My dream job has always been to get paid to travel around the world, evaluating hotels, checking out attractions, rating them, maybe even making a travel guide - and of course it would be all expense paid!

19. Snorkelling freaked me out the first time.. but I love it now!

20. Giving birth to my children has been one of the most incredible experiences in my life, it gave me such a feeling of being alive, such a base and primal feeling and it could have been part of the adrenaline rush too (see #5)

21. I hope that I can be an incredible parent (first) and friend (second) to my children. I hope that there will never be something that they can't tell me, no matter what the situation!

22. I enjoy watching hockey, there is something relaxing/familiar with watching Hockey Night in Canada

23. I hate when the house is too quiet (except if I'm trying to sleep!), there has to be some background noise at all times..

24. It drives me UP THE WALL, immediately, when my kids whine!!

25. I enjoy a friendly debate and talking about deep issues.. and sometimes I can talk too much (can you imagine, me talking too much!) lol

(My baby girl.. enjoying the simpler things in life :) she's about 6 mons or so)