Friday, September 04, 2009
You are not alone!
I am not sure if anyone has noticed my sidebar - but let me explain, along with my kids birthdays there is another ticker, a ticker to remember our third child. July 30th my third little angel went to be with Jesus. I had a miscarriage at around 7 weeks. I have never known what really to say to someone who had experienced a miscarriage, and now I know - really there is nothing a person can say. I understand you can try to encourage or say things that are well meaning - but nothing a person can say can really touch the hurt and pain of a loss. Besides the natural grieving process that one goes through, it was really great for me to talk to a few friends that had gone through miscarriages as well - they were probably the greatest comfort to me. I think that one thing that complicates everything is the fact that besides the emotion and grief that a woman feels after losing the hopes and dreams of her child, there is also the added hormonal affects - it just intensifies every feeling! A good piece of advice from my mom was to talk about it (once I was comfortable), mention it to friends so they understand what is going on in my life - it is great therapy. Miscarriage is a very common although you don't necessarily hear about it. Someone once told me that 2 in 5 pregnancies end in miscarriage - that's a lot!! Anyway - I just wanted to do a shout out to all the women who have gone through or will go through a miscarriage, you are not alone **hugs**
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6 comments:
I'm glad you posted about this Ellen :) I know it really helped me too, to be able to talk to people who had been through it. And especially having my sister-in-law there for me. That meant a lot. She understood what I was feeling, even though there were no words. And now I get to be there for her again. It's not fun, or easy at all, but I am so thankful for friends and family who care!
Thanks Stacey.. I figured it was time :) I know that if it hadn't been for you and my other friend (both having had a miscarriage) I probably would have had a much more difficult time! Plus it was nice to have someone to ask the difficult questions (medically). Yeah I just read about your sister-in-law, I'm sure it never gets easier, but at least having their daughter will give them some comfort (I know having my kids were a comfort for me).
Definitely. Comfort, and something else to focus on!
Aww...I'm sorry Ellen! Unlike Stacey, I guess I can't fully understand since I've never been there...but I can surely imagine how heartbreaking and tough it would be. *hugs to you too!*
Thanks Andrea! and let's just say, you are lucky to not completely understand - it's not an experience I'd wish on any woman!
Oh Ellen, I am truly heartbroken for you. Crushed actually. It is difficult to understand the crushing, devastating loss of a miscarriage for those who have not been there before. And, I think that many people just don't know what to say and think that by attempting to put a positive spin on their comments, that it actually helps. In many cases, it comes out wrong and is even more isolating for the woman dealing with the loss.
I am here for you if you ever just want to chat, or, even ask questions. Sadly, as you probably already know from reading my blog, I have been there 4 times. And when I was dealing with mine, I had no one to talk to and it was extremely lonely.
Sending you a ton of love and hugs my friend. I think that it takes a strong woman to be able to talk about her loss and you just never know who's life you may affect by doing so. You could infuse many others with hope by sharing your grief.
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