5 Years Ago

Five years ago today was the start of our new life together. It's hard to believe it's already been 5 years, other times it seems longer :) Today I feel special, my husband made a big effort in his own funny way. He had always said that he would buy me a 5yr anniversary ring to complete my ring set - so a few months ago I went to the store where we bought our wedding bands and got the lady to write down the 'ring number' of the right ring. (I know my husband by now, and as well intentioned as he may be, he wouldn't get it right unless it was made obvious, lol) So I left the card pinned to the fridge and mentioned it to him. This week, he asked me where the card was :) This morning as he came home from his night shift he had his hands full. A beautiful bouquet of roses and he even picked out an anniversary card!! (This may seem insignificant to most, but you have to realize that my husband really has no use for cards and this is the first one I have received since early in our dating years - so to me it means a LOT) Our plans today, kids will be dropped off at their friends house for a sleepover, and we get to go for supper (which I've been looking forward to!!) and have a free evening, although we may catch a movie. Either way, it will be nice to spend some quality couple time together! I am thankful for these past 5 years and hope there will be many more!!

Time to Tell :)

So after my Wordless Wednesday I suppose I need to explain. I have been debating about when and how to announce this news. This week I was to be due with my third pregnancy, but as most of you know, that didn't work out. So I figured what better way to celebrate than announce my fourth pregnancy. I am almost 10 weeks (on Saturday), so I realize that I'm not quite out of the 'danger zone' yet, but at 8.5 weeks my Dr. had an ultrasound done and there is a tiny wee baby, head, body, arms, hands, legs, feet and a strong heartbeat! That is definately re-assuring, but I'm still not without worry. I have really been trying to leave my worries in God's hands - there really is nothing else I can do and worrying doesn't help! I don't think I have really let myself be REALLY excited yet, I think that will come after my 12 week appointment and ultrasound.

This has seemed like a long road for me, although I know it really wasn't THAT long, but I definately have learned a lot. I have learned the loss of a child, I have learned the yearning for a child (as it took over 6 months for my body to heal and be able to conceive), I have learned to have patience while 'everyone else' got what I wanted, I learned that God's will and timing is perfect. The glory be to God for the miracle of life! I know that my loss and my waiting was not extreme (I have heard of many other women going through much worse), but I have experienced enough to have empathy and understanding for those travelling lonely roads and I already have had opportunity to share and be there for another going through similar difficult times.

So how am I feeling - rotten! haha, not complaining, that's just how I feel. This is the worst morning sickness I have felt from any of my pregnancies! It has been a struggle trying to keep my house in order, kids in order and everyone fed. I can usually make lunch, but by supper, I can't seem to cook - I can't stomach it. So between take out and frozen foods and the occasional homecooked meal, we have survived so far. I want to copy something that my friend Stacey did throughout her pregnancy - a way to chart how things are going.

How far along? 9 weeks and 5 days (technically - I'll explain later)

Total weight gain? 4lbs - I'm a little discouraged (normally I don't really gain until later on) but I realize that with feeling so sick, I've had to do what I've had to do to 'survive'

Maternity clothes? yes, the under the belly mat jeans, my regular jeans still fit, but as they were tight they were making my nausea worse - anything for comfort and feeling better

Sleep? sleeping way too much! Need to have a nap every afternoon!

Movement? not yet, but I'm looking forward to it as it's one of my favorite parts!

Gender? unknown and will remain that way for the next 30 or so weeks :)

What I miss? being able to eat like normal, having the energy to do regular tasks

What I'm looking forward to? feeling baby move :) and not feeling so cranky

Milestones? 8.5 week ultrasound and looking forward to the 2nd trimester

*I please ask that any of you that I also have on Facebook, not make mention of my pregnancy on Facebook at this time.

Wordless Wednesday

*photo from About.com

When Babies Come Early*

A friend of mine had her baby boy early, 7 weeks early! 3lbs 8oz! I don't know any details, but I ask that if you have a moment please pray for this family - he is their first child and came unexpectedly early. I will try to update as soon as I have more information. *Seems baby is healthy*

What's in a name?

There are several friends and friends of friends that have been having new babies and I'm always curious to hear what names they have picked for their children. There are common names, long names, short names, hard to spell/pronounce names. I always find it interesting how a persons name can influence how you see them. When you first meet someone who has a the same name of that girl in elementary school that always used to make you cry, the first thing to pop in your head is probably a negative thought or feeling (even if it is only for half a second). If you meet someone with the same name of your best friend, you are more likely to have a positive first impression. It just seems to work that way - it's the same way with smells or sounds that are associated with memories, positive or negative.

I have an uncommon name. Although it has been made famous by a certain Ellen. When I was working in the service industry I would get wisecracks from guys on occasion, 'No, just because my name is Ellen does not mean I am gay!'. Seriously! The other day when I was calling the toll free health line in our area, when the lady took my name she gave me quite the compliment - she exclaimed how my name was so refreshing and she really liked it :) I have only 'met' a handful of people with my name. I say 'met' because I have only actually met one of them in real life, and it was brief. It was my friend Emily's sister Ellen. My insurance agent's name is Ellen, although I have never met her in person, just talked on the phone. A blogging friend Allie has a friend Ellen; I stop by her blog on occasion. I just found another Ellen through blogging, and this Ellen has one more thing in common - she is an Ellen B. too :) That's it - those are all the Ellen's I know! No, I am not an Ellen stalker, but it does make me curious about the other few people who also share my name :) So here's a shout-out to my fellow Ellen's :)
**Ellen means light**

Ordinary Miracles

I love Sarah McLachlan!

Out with a Cold

We've been out of comission at our house lately. Me and both kids have managed to come down with a wonderful cold. This cold consists of: plugged nose and sinuses, runny nose, sneezing and coughing.. and more lately - fever (or at least for my son and daughter). So needless to say, once we are all better, I will have a lot of catching up to do in my house!

Embracing His Feminine Side

I found my son like this one afternoon (while he was napping). Both me and K hate wearing tights but he seemed to enjoy it :) I don't have a problem with my son experimenting and trying new things, like wearing his sister's tights. He also get's his toe nails painted too when I have the nail polish out for me and K. Why should he not get to do 'fun' things just because he's a boy? He even has his own 'boy' colors of nail polish and it just goes on his toes. I know some men (and women too) have a huge problem with their son's 'crossing the gender-role' line, but really who and how does it hurt to let him dress up and play with the same things that his sister gets to play with? Soon enough he will think it's silly and there's no way he'd be caught in anything of his sister's but he's 4 and he's having fun, I don't think there is anything wrong with it! At this age he doesn't understand why his sister can do things and he can't. Of course I'm not going to the extreme, he doesn't get to go out in public with make-up or girls clothes on - but when they are playing at home, why not have fun!

Are you a mushy brown Banana?

Mushy, brown bananas... what are they for? Yucky, gross, throw them away! No, they are just perfect. How can rotten fruit be perfect, it's not good for anything! They might not look perfect on the outside but mushy brown banana's are perfect for baking banana bread! In so many ways our lives may be like those mushy brown banana's, full of bruises, spotted with mistakes from the past, discolored from hurts and pains of life and yet the Almighty Baker can make something wonderfully beautiful from those mushy brown banana's, all we have to do is let Him peel back the layers!

I know it's not the most perfect metaphor, but it's what crossed my mind today as I was baking with my son. As I thought about it, it made me smile - I sound like my Grandpa! That may sound strange to some of you, but you see my Grandpa has this way of taking things from his ordinary life as a carpenter and seeing it in another light. I remember how at one family reunion he shared about an experience where he was imagining what his carpenter pencil would say if it talked. No, he's not crazy :) I don't remember the whole story but I believe it was something about making marks on other people's lives and how important each mark is to the whole project or structure. Thinking more about it this afternoon, I have to say how glad I am to have such a wonderful Grandpa, he has worked hard to create a wonderful legacy of love, especially love of the Father. He is never afraid to say something, even if it may be hard to hear, or if he has to fight through his emotions, if God has laid something on his heart - he shares. I know that both my Grandma and Grandpa pray for their kids and grandkids everyday - what an excellent example you have set! I will try my very hardest to keep that legacy going!

Where we are at..*updated with pics*

I know it's been a while since I've posted. So you may be wondering where we've been and what we are up to. First of all I am happy to say that my daughter is now potty trained!! I am REALLY happy about that! She has been interested in 'going potty' from 1.5yrs because all the other kids (my son and daycare kids) would go on the potty. She was doing pretty good but was not consistant at all. In the end of November something happened (I still don't know what) but K would just NOT even sit on the potty!! After two weeks of working on it, she would finally sit again, but would not do anything. Another two weeks and she was finally doing what she was supposed to, and two weeks after that potty trained!! It will be nice to have all my kids potty trained when we decide to have another child.

In other news, we finally decided to get the kids a bunkbed! They were SO excited!! I had debated on and off for a while and finally went ahead with it because I really noticed how TJ was almost outgrowing his toddler bed! We only have a 2 bedroom house so the kids share a room and there is not enough room for a twin and toddler bed without being cramped. (they also have a dresser in their room as well) This way, if and when we would move to a bigger house, they would also each have their own bed as it separates into two beds!

Things seem to be going a lot better this winter than last winter for me. Last winter I had a serious case of cabin fever/winter blues. This winter hasn't seemed quite as bad. Although I am hoping that things will continue with this weather - it's been fairly mild here but the best thing is that it's been so sunny outside! Somehow the sunshine just makes everything better! Another thing is that I have been making an extra effort to make sure I take my multivitamins. It seems to help. Anyway, I hope to get some pictures in this post later today or early tomorrow :)

*Of course I didn't get my pictures in as soon as I wanted (dead camera batteries) but here they are, better late than never :)

Chocolate pudding painting with the kids.. it was a hit!! (as you can tell probably most of it went in the mouth)

I really don't like this picture of me, (so please ignore it) it was my only picture of the kids new bed so far, I was tucking my daughter in to bed for their first night in their new bed!
My daughter's early morning attempt at putting on lip gloss :)